Now I know how the wine glass feels right before it shatters

Lost my time... lost my place

2005-03-02T21:48:04Z

It's ridiculously cruel, but the most shaming thing there is for a person is their own humanity and the weaknesses that are inherent of that, believe me... I know

I Heard It Through the Grapevine

2005-03-02T02:26:50Z

Isn't nice how the tiniest moment of gentleness or playfulness can turn the whole day around?

I love days like this

Like any uncharted territory I must seem greatly intriguing

2005-02-28T15:22:28Z

I realized something about our culture last night, or at least the subculture of being a messed up college kid in this country.

For those of you not entirely current; my roomie #3 is from China. She's older than me, and perhaps more experienced. But what I realized last night is that she, and probably most of the people she hangs with, deal with the world on a fairly non-complex emotional level. Nothing like what you & I deal with on a daily basis.

I had my first hint a couple of weeks ago when she popped her head over to my side of the room when I was watching Butterfield 8. This is a classic flick with all sorts of twisted emotions and I was in the middle of watching one of the scenes where Elizabeth Taylor swings back and forth on her quickly fraying tire swing of emotional display. She's lamenting something or another and she's weeping hysterically. Now anyone who's watched this movie knows there's all sorts of different reasons why she's crying, and that any minute she could burst out into hysterical laughter for all we know.

But my roomie takes on look at this screen and simply says in a very sympathetic manner... 'she very sad girl'

what an understatement!

Also, I've been thinking she's quite the perfect roommate because I have the freedom to send mini messages of emotional distress/exaltation and she ask so I don't have to try to explain. But the truth is, it's not that she doesn't ask, it's that she doesn't pick up on it.

Those of you who know me know that at times I am a somewhat tortured individual for various reasons, but all she could gather of this was that I don't smile that much... again, gross understatement.

Please don't mistake my tone here, I'm not condemning or criticizing by any means... it's just such a strange phenomenon. I'm so used to dealing with myself and everyone else on all these complex levels of emotion and psychosis, but this girl just doesn't pick up on it... who'da ever thought?

Twisted Every Way

2005-02-27T20:21:59Z

Funny how sometimes you're walking (or sitting as it were) along, and all of a sudden your chest clamps up. For a moment you don't know why on earth it would do such a thing, but then it steals over you, that old familiar, and you say, well hi there, I was wondering when you'd turn up again. Strange, you see everything so clearly in those moments of tightness and discomfort. You wish it would just go away, but when it does, you're left wanting... longing... because that tightness is the universe somehow letting you know you're alive. You are a person, you want, you need, you burn, you dream.

Still, I can't decide whether I'm better with or without, both are thoroughly plausible.

Ragtime Robin Rocks

2005-02-25T04:10:21Z

Just got back from Recording Services. My second of four for the week... Please be informed I only signed up for one, and tonight was not one of them.

But this was Brandie's junior recital and I love Brandie, so I was happy to do it... plus it was an easy gig. Just set up a stereo pair and sat up in the booth taking times. Nick was the engineer, but we definitely had more cooks in the kitchen. At one point in that booth; which is only big enough to house one, or maybe two small bodies along with the racks, was Nick, Preston, Ryan, Trent, & myself; quite the party. The conversation digressed, as it always does with that much testosterone in a small space; to how we could hid beer in the booth and then get royally trashed and fuck up the recording and not get Paul mad after us.

I must confess, I was so worn out that even I was amused by this vulgar insanity, such is life...

Anyway, Brandie totally rocked the house, and her last number was this cool ragtime piece on xylophone with set, bass and piano, and then she actually thanked us... the recording engineers... No one ever thanks us!

I have a gig tom at 4, and another sat night... needless to say I am not taking any more gigs for few weeks... so no one ask me!

Now I am going to finally sort the laundry that's been sitting on top of my dresser all week and get all my various notes and scribblings off the floor.

Night!

the news that truly shocks is the empty, empty page

2005-02-24T23:07:05Z

Well, of late my life has been an utter whirlwind!

I had two tests yesterday, and FOUR that's right, count 'em... four tests today. You wanna know the crazy part...? Aside from one yesterday, I actually think I did quite well on all of them, especially considering the massive amounts of stress. The only endeavor still remaining for the week are my two recording services gigs tonight and tom night (for which I am missing Apprentice which makes me most unhappy!) But considering the last few days it's entirely not that bad.

In other news I am quite proud of myself. Today marks my seventh straight day on the Atkins regime, & even though I haven't seen any real results yet, I'm not discouraged. Also, my newsletter is flourishing, and my hopes are high.

So, until later.

All you do is call me...

2005-02-20T17:19:48Z

Hey all,

Must say that at present life is not bad. Yesterday went to Eaton-Stock, which had some cool bands, and some not so wonderful bands. It was even more fun watching it from the roof of Clarke where my ear drums didn't get blown out, but I could still see all the primo action.

There was also a strange occurrence when I found these three kids waiting for Ken outside his office. They said they were Audio engineers who had an appointment to meet with Ken for a study session (only it's Saturday and I've never seen Ken meet with anyone on Sat before). But I just shrug my shoulders and say I haven't seen him and go back to doing my work. They finally give up and leave and a little later Ken comes.

So I tell him about the three kids and he's like... 'it's Saturday... right?' and I tell him it is, & he's like, 'I don't have any appointments on Saturday... Those kids must have been on drugs' and then he walks down the stairs, and I can hear him near the bottom... 'crazy, must be on drugs... crazy!'

I had myself a little chuckle over that one and went back to watching Eaton. Later I hung out in my room and on a crazy impulse decided to go across the street blockbuster (who by the way has really gotten rid of late fees! and rent Lion, the Witch, & the Wardrobe, and Prince Caspian... probably because of that times article I had read earlier... and stayed up til like 2:30 just vegging, pretty fun.

So now today I have to do all the work I've been avoiding, this week is going to be hell, but somehow I'll make it, I promise.

Later my lovelies

What you see revealed with the anger is worth the pain

2005-02-19T21:27:02Z

Why is it that everything in this world seems to come down to gender. Honestly, it feels like every time there is a problem, a misunderstanding, a barrier, or anything else, it gets traced back to gender.

Now I am fully aware the importance anatomy plays on one's daily life, but I would like to think that as human beings there are far more pertinent and interesting characteristics to operate than our sex, but who knows, maybe I'm in the minority...?

Keep the Walls from fallin' down

2005-02-16T19:06:35Z

Well,

There was much rap-page today on both my music theory and logic design quizzes! That's right baby, kick ass girl is back! I was on hiatus for a while, but no more. There will be no mercy and no prisoners they're all going down!!!!

Uncertain emotions force an uncertain smile

2005-02-15T18:19:03Z

What's better than a date with a guy?

That's right, you guessed it... a date with the guy who controls all the school of music servers! Unfortunately there will be no soft music and candle sticks, just him me, a bunch of whirling machines and the keys to the server kingdom! For the past month I have (rather covertly) been barking up more than just dear old Ken's tree with regards to getting my newsletter off and running. Finally people are starting to respond and today I have appointments, not only with the server technician (a charming fellow by the name of Eddie) but also with our Mue webmaster to talk about coordinating the newsletter with the website so that it's even more valuable.

It is I must say, rather disappointing that all of a sudden when I am up to my eyeballs in work FOUR TESTS AND A QUIZ NEXT WEEK! (all of which I need to do very well on!) All these people conveniently have time on their hands to offer me. Oh well, I will simply have to hunker down and make it work. And I will, after all this is what I'm good at... right?

In the mean time I am trying to stay right on the razor's edge of punctuality on the day that pretty much has me running none stop from 8 - 5. Ahh for the moment when I can just sink back on my pillows and guffow over the sorry little Kelly Clarkeston wannabes on Idol... should be a most relaxing night (once I finish frantically studying for logic design quiz tom!)

P.S. If anyone has finished Joe's HW, please give me a call, mine is totally not working and it's making me most unhappy!

I've Got You Under My Skin Where the Rain Can't Get In...

2005-02-14T15:48:55Z

Today is the day of the feast of Saint Valentines...

Now stop me if I'm wrong here, but last time I did a little reading it said Saint Valentine was a priest who, when he refused to renounce his faith was ordered by the Emperor Claudius II to be beaten to death and then beheaded on Feb 14. Perhaps I'm in the minority here, but a guy having his face bashed in and then cut off doesn't exactly put me in the mood to go suck some guy's face off shrugs

Oh well, at least we get candy!

In all truth this is probably the best valentines day I've had in a long time. No major romanticism, but you know what, I've decided I'm thoroughly prepared to shelve that whole concept for a while. I mean, I'm practically up to my eyeballs in men down here (all different makes and models) and I have to say, I haven't yet found the man who makes me say, 'Damn it! Time to go to plan B; utter adoration!'

On this valentines day I've got something better than pining, something better than longing and self-pity... I've got inspiration

I finally had a good long talk with myself and it's time I became a full fledged human being. On this valentines day I shall sally forth and engage the world in all its wonders...

1) I will make a concerted effort to start kicking real ass in my classes, no more skin deep shit, I'm gonna really hunker down and blow this pretentious assholes out of the water

2) I'm really gonna lose the weight this time. Make no mistake, I'm doing this for no one but me. It's time the world saw me in my entirety; bold, bright, & beautiful!

3) I am going to get my newsletter off the ground. I have vision and I won't allow it to simply fizzle away. If I have to hunt these little men down and hold them to the ground until they get me what I need I am going to see my newsletter succeed.

4) I am going to really start writing my novel. A dear friend once said we all must 'write our own books' well it's long overdue that I start in on mine. No cop outs this time either. I will finish something!

5) Lastly and most importantly... I am going to make a concerted effort to acknowledge my feelings, accept them as a part of me, and still make sure they don't run my life. I have had a revelation friends... it's alright to feel hurt, to feel happy, to feel longing, to feel anger, and anything in between. You don't need to fight it, because it's part of you, as much as your blood, and your brain, and your fingers. Just don't one aspect overwhelm the whole. I've been shooting myself in the foot this way for a long time and today I vow to break the cycle!

Happy day of love all, my each of you find the kind of fulfillment you most need, because that, more than anything else, is a true celebration of love, and life

I was serenely independent and content before we met...

2005-02-12T06:34:33Z

No one has any real answers...

we can sit and ponder all we like, but in the end there is no answers, no certainty. No way of knowing any fricken thing we do is right. All we can do is look for those rare moments when something comes from within. Something that hasn't been planted, inserted, nurtured, conditioned, or manufactured by anyone, or anything beyond ourselves... and we have to hold on to that feeling, whatever it may be.

It won't always be pleasant, or something that can be acted upon, requited, or even discernible. But that doesn't matter, what matters is that we accept that thought, emotion, instinct, inclination for whatever it may be and know that it is a truth which comes from within us and so is pure in a way that no ambition, lust, or yearning can ever be, because it's one of the precious few things in this world which truly is our own.

I know... I felt it tonight, sitting in a dark movie theater with my cousins. My cousins whom I adore and who would do anything for me, but cannot share this special, gut wrenching yearning I feel, because it's only my mine. Whatever else it may or may not be, my longing for him is perhaps the first ever true feeling I have felt which comes solely from my heart. No other person, place, or idea could have planted it there, for only I could manifest such a deep, hard hitting emptiness that I sense only he can fill. And it will never matter if another soul ever knows the truth of it, will not matter if the longing I cast out into the night is ever returned within the slightest.

All that matters is that at least once in my life I had a true feeling, unpolluted by the other beings who occupy this world and who so often cloud all our judgments. This one love is mine and mine alone, and as long as I carry it with me I can be sure that I am in fact a person living my life, no matter what anyone else can ever say or think.

they say life carries on and on and on

2005-02-10T22:45:26Z

I just had a not so fun day of tests which did not go as well as I would have hoped for, since after this whole roommate thing I find myself utterly drained. However Ken assures me everyone is entitled to a shit day and that doing not so wonderful on a sight singing test will not prevent me from winning a nobel prize or becoming the first woman president... so, I expect life shall carry on and tonight is the Apprentice and I have instructions to just chill I ask you, what is the 'chill'?

Inspite of everything I find myself very excited, because tomorrow, KENNY IS COMING (this would be my 'other kenny,' my cousin/big brother/guardian angel and one of my totally favorite persons in the whole wide world!) He and Mel are in town (Orlando) for a conference and tomorrow afternoon they're gonna drive down and we're gonna hang out this weekend! Life could not get much better!!!!

Now I am going to explore this 'chilling' concept...

Lost my time... lost my place, in sky blue

2005-02-08T15:40:31Z

Funny how a flood gate can open when your back is turned.

Anyway. Update on roommate situation... I am going to move in with the exchange student down the hall. For all concerned parties my address is still the same except I'm now in Pearson 301 no longer 325. I must say I'm greatly relieved. We tried to do one of those contract things yesterday and the negotiations didn't go anywhere. Probably cause the RC was a total pussy who was more worried about not having to overtly discuss Sarah's sex habits than she was in making sure I felt safe with Sarah in the room.

But all that is no longer a concern thanks to Ken. Oh, he is so God right now. If I worshiped that man before now I'm a total acolyte. He swooped in and flexed his I am Ken Pohlmann master of the Audio Universe and local campus God muscles and all the dominoes just fell right over. No more contract bullshit, no more having to beg a spot on someone else's floor cause my crazy fuck roommate's too far down the bottle to realize anything she's doing. I'm moving on and movin out!

Thanks to Becky, Brandie, and especially my girl Ashley 1 you guys have been amazing and I don't know how I would have lasted this long without you!

Right so, let's go back to this first statement. So for basically all of junior high and high school I sat there saying, 'oh woe is me, I can't seem to find a halfway decent man, let alone any that are interested in me.' So high school ends and I make my great escape and I get here and it's like, finally there are seriously cool and productive things to do, so I'm totally not thinking about guys (well that's a lie, there is one, but that's more like warm fuzziness in the back of my own mind at night when I feel kinda lonely more than anything else) And just like that, all of a sudden the guys are like fricken coming out of the woodwork!

I actually got picked up and consequently almost got my face sucked off on Saturday night (don't get me wrong, guy was very nice and sweet and I might actually see him again). And then yesterday I absolutely without a doubt was being conscientiously hit on by two other guys who I really like (as like guy friends). And I feel like, where the hell were you all like two years ago when I would have been totally into it.

But right now I don't quite know what to do, because it seems like I'm totally emotionally and mentally checked out, and there's no reason for it. I mean, my body is absolutely responding to all these overtures, but I feel like when I'm in the middle of it I'm solving a math problem or something. I mean I'm like Ok, here is variable x, and there's variable y, and when you add the two together you get...

I don't expect fireworks or anything necessarily, but shouldn't it be a little more, engrossing for lack of a better term, than this. Shouldn't I be so wrapped up that I don't have time to 'access' the situation with my usual calculating efficiency?

Go figure... life really is what happens when you're busy doing other homework.

whichever way I go, I come back to the place you are

2005-02-07T16:58:20Z

Who says girls don't get Knights in Shining Armour!

Mine just happens to ride a Bianche bicycle and wears cycling jersies instead of a white charger and metal plating!

My dear heart

word upon word

2005-02-06T21:35:33Z

why is it that human beings can be such useless FUCKS at times?

Looking for Mercy

2005-02-06T16:02:19Z

Well,

My peaceful, pensive state of late last night (early this morning) was soon brought to a crashing halt when I discovered I was to be the unwilling participant of yet another 'coed' sleepover.

For once I had come in from a night on the town to find my roommate sprawled on her bed in p-j's watching a movie and contemplating turning in for the night. My hopes were high, fresh from a bought of self-discovery and in the state of mind that maybe not everyone on this earth is a total fuck-head I was ready to kick back, close my eyes, and let R&R do their thing.

However, this euphoria was short lived as a knock on the door produced yet another random 200 something pound, joe-six-pack who couldn't go to sleep without a goodnight hug and kiss, and so we three settled down for an evening of "Just Married"... & then some.

I don't think so. I happen to think that I'm a very easy person to live with. I really don't ask that much. But every now and then the nerve snaps, and this morning it sure as hell did.

So I went and rather unceremoniously woke up the male RA (the one who I had asked friday morning to talk with Sarah about her 'nocturnal companions' and told him that she had another guy in her room & I really needed him to take care of it. I felt really bad for the guy, another innocent by-stander, who, at 3 am, just wanted a little shut eye. However, even compassion for him would not allow me to slink back to bed defeated. I had my roommate with her hand thoroughly in the cookie jar (any extrapolations made from here are totally on you guys) and I didn't know when such an opportunity would present itself again.

So I waited for 45 minutes down on the second floor while the RA 'dealt' with the situation. When I came back up the guy was gone and there were no traces of explosions out in the hall. However, when I got back to my room I found that my roommate had (for the first time in our acquaintance) managed to deem it worthy to lock her door (no doubt so that if I forgot my key she could pretend to be asleep and leave me stranded out in the hall) luckily I had had the foresight to remember to bring my key. So I let myself in to find all the room lights on and nasty rap music playing quite loudly.

I didn't say a word. I just went to my bed, put in my earplugs and my eye-mask and slept as best I could (for four hours). Now I am up and about and proceeding to reap the rewards of last night's expedition. I shall shortly be sending out a volley of most unhappy emails to the RC, and the Associate director of housing, informing them of last night's bed hopping, as well as the fact that I absolutely refuse to reenter that room until I am absolutely confident that it is safe for me (after all, the girl's already shown herself quite vindictive and unpredictable). So Ashley, I shall be taking you and your futon up on that offer tonight, and hopefully after tomorrow morning's meeting there will be some absolute resolution... one way or another. In the mean time my parents are assembling the legal committee and preparing to go to war. FORWARD MARCH! That's right boys, now we're getting somewhere!

ohhhhh, my head sounds like this...

2005-02-06T06:53:33Z

Tonight, a night which I thought was definitely not going my way, has turned out to be one of the nicest nights I've had in quite some time, as well as a night which has taught me several very important things.

1) The trials I am currently facing, while frustrating and painful, have no real power to harm me, not in my deep heart, because tonight I realized, my heart is somewhere else

2) There is such a thing as the right man, and a wrong man, but they're not quite what you think. There is a right man for me, he has a distinct smell, a distinct laugh, a distinct look, a sheere presence that you know is what brings your core to life. That's not to say any of those are the best there is, but they're the right ones. And there are wrong men, with wrong smells, wrong laughs, wrong looks, but they're not bad by any means. In fact they can be most enjoyable at times, but they're just not the right ones.

3) Enjoying some of the wrong things isn't a betrayal of the right ones, as long as you know which one is wrong and which is right.

4) You do have the power to know which is wrong and which is right. You know it because where the right may have no physicality to it, there's still more tension and energy in the air. There's a tingling in your skin, and an inability to catolog every last little detail that transpires because you're so wrapped up in the presence of him. It's like the difference betweeen a movie that you liked when you went to see it, but probably wouldn't see it again, unless you really had some bizarre urging, and a movie that you absolutely adore and feel compelled to watch over, & over, & over again

I shall go to bed with an easy heart and a light head thanks to Mr. wrong but I'll be seeing mr. right in my dreams...

Sweet dreams to all...

i keep moving to be stable; free to wander, free to roam

2005-02-02T22:34:01Z

Well, today was an interesting day, to say the least...

My voice teacher (the one who swears she is much more organized than this) was half an hour late, then she askes me if I can stay after (like I've got nothing else to do today lady?) Well as you can guess I was not pleased and my the end of the lesson I was thoroughly finished keeping my mouth shout with her

Needless to say we had a come to jesus meeting!

I had to stop myself, because the minute I opened my mouth I knew I was on the verge of letting out all my pent up anger and frustration about my crazy ass roommate, Ken abandoning me, textbooks not arriving, and men being assholes in general all out on this tiny stick of a woman.

I did manage to cage the rage, but still felt the woman was sufficiently humbled by the end of our conversation. Perhaps from now on things will be a little more productive. I then proceeded on to my logic design quiz, which I thoroughly raped. And now I'm hanging around until my 7:50 marketing class. After which I will come home and watch Alias having somehow managed to survive yet another day.

In the mean time I thought I'd put up these pictures. the one on the left is my ledge and the one on the right is what I see from my ledge... ahhhh, the tranquility.

When the Saints go marching in

2005-01-31T20:32:23Z

Alright people... I'm back in business

That's right I started off my monday morning in a true kickin ass and takin names way... going to music theory and staring at my prof while he rattled on, just barely on the brink of coherency about stuff we definitely didn't cover last semester... oh well.

Seriously though. I'm out of my fog and just in time to get my act together for my marketing quiz tonight, my circuit theory homework due tom, and my logic design and music theory quizes on wednesday... no time like the present, right?

In other news I did finally go and swat Ken upside the head about server stuff, so we should be seeing some progress on that shortly (although he did mention that he'll be out of town soon, which might be code for I'm gonna sneak away so you can't be on my ass for a while... but I'll take his word for it ;-))

Also, my crusade to fix the whole roommate from hell situation has finally truly begun. After a totally unsatisfactory meeting with the housing consultant on friday I fired off an angry letter to the head of residence halls saying that the whole thing was basically bullshit (put more sugar-coated I assure you) and today I got a response from his second stuge saying he would meet with me today (4:00) and we'll see what goes from there. I'm really at the edge here, I'm not gonna get pushed around (or moved around) anymore.

It's time someone accomodated me DAMN IT!

Right... back to the real world... shall write more later.

Money for nothing and the chicks for free

2005-01-30T04:07:57Z

I'm a weak love sick sop, you know that... I really am.

I also really suck at giving someone the silent treatment. I tried, and the first time they goof with me I totally melt!

When the sun spots clear my eyes

2005-01-29T20:32:42Z

Wow,

I feel as though I've been absent from my body for a while. Like I was watching myself from up in the air or something. Now I'm back in my skin, but suddenly it doesn't feel as though it fits quite right anymore. Someone has been in my skin and they've stretched it all out in weird places.

Anyway. My roommate is now totally out of control and I have begun my crusade to get that whole situation in hand... when you're taking 21 credits you really don't have much margin for random drunken and pissy-ass roommates holding your life hostage... particularly your SLEEP SCHEDULE!

In other news I have finally managed to jump start my internal motor and am going to crawl out from under my rock 'o wallowing and get to f'ing WORK! That means back to work on my newsletter, back to work on BHS commission, back to work on being super college girl (although right now my cape has a small hole in it) and back to work on my diet. That's right... forgive me father for I have eaten fast food in my dark hour. But from here on out I promise to be good... very well, five sticks of celery and walk it off sister!

Later today Brandon is going to take me to get my own tv so that I will not be constantly at my roommate's mercy when it comes to the five minutes a day I allow myself to watch tv. Then I'm going to call a newsletter staff meeting and get all my children back on the path. And after that I'm going to get some homework done!

That's almost everything taken care of... everything that is, except Ken. I need to go talk to him and I'm avoiding it. But if I don't hear anything by monday I'm gonna have to suck it up and go a'nocking on that door. Who would have thought 'big bad ken' could have me all twisted up, and not even about any real issue... just some strange hybrid of solitude and male pmsing... Such is life and such are men, perhaps it's time to reevaluate the whole lesbian thing...?

Last bit of news fit to print... Sara is actually gonna come down for spring break! That's right ladies and gentlemen, we've got a ticket and everything. So last night we discussed going down to the keys the sunday she comes and going snorkeling. Should be much fun... I just need to negotiate a car... anyone want to let me borrow their's? I assure you... I'm a very good driver Wink wink, nudge nudge.

Later dearhearts!

Will you still be there, further on...

2005-01-26T22:40:06Z

Something is missing...

Now I know what Dr. G meant when he taught us that nothing in the universe ever actually touches...

In the Still of the night... my thoughts all stray...

2005-01-26T02:48:45Z

First there was rage...

Fury, the stuff of brisk walking, snarling lips, tensed muscles and pounding fists.

Then there was terror...

The throat closing, room spinning, darkness closing in

and then... there was silence...

I sat there, in the dark, heard the wind through the trees, the scurrying of people below.

No phones, no computer, no music, no nothing.

I clutched my knees. There was someone on the other side of that wall. The wall to which my back was pressed. But I don't know who it was.

The clocks stood still...

And now; now I've showered and watched the coverup and mascera run down the drain, but the strangeness remains... under my skin...

In Me...

The Male Ibis will stalk a shadow

2005-01-24T21:38:57Z

Today is probably the worst day I've ever spent at U of Miami, and the worst part is that it's for no particular reason at all, just lots of itsy bitsy things that, for some reason, if they'd happened on any other day, I would have been fine with, but today they just piss me off amazingly. I shall list

I woke up and it was chilly this morning... not cold, just long sleeves chilly
My theory teacher was rather hyper. I mean it's better than a monotone, but today it was just irritating, cause it felt like he was going just a little too fast to make any sense
My solfege teacher answered mine & Jess's questions without actually answering them
I'm bored with Chartwells
Dr. G has not emailed me the thing to get out of my physics class
Ken is playing hide & seek so he can finish his proof reading, but I need him to do actual academic advising
I got a practically finger shaking email from Paul head of recording services cause we were gonna put recording services dates in the newsletter and apparently they're just too tentative for him to do that, and I can put a link to the listserv page for us in the paper, but I better not put the actual email address cause someone else might start posting messages easy there buddy, it was just a suggestion!
Can't find another EEN course to substitute for physics or to make up the extra 10 credits I need for my double major
Roommate doesn't have the decency to get lost for a while while I brood. It's not that I don't like her, I just don't like to be around her

Mostly I'm annoyed with men right now and feeling quite ancy, there's nothing really for me to do and I can't fix anything right now. Plus I'm hungry and I shouldn't eat, so I'll sit here and try not to wallow while I wait for tom. which had better be a better day!